Spiritually Fit Today

The Argument Isn’t the Problem—How You Fight Is - Spiritually Fit Today

Welcome to Spiritually Fit Today with Arnie Cole and guest marriage counselor Kyle Helmink. In this episode we explore how conflict—when handled well—can actually save and strengthen relationships. We cover common destructive patterns (escalation, invalidation, withdrawal, negative interpretation), practical tools like time-outs, active listening/speaker-listener technique, separating problem discussion from solution, emotional regulation, urgency to resolve, and the central role of forgiveness. Memory verse: “Love rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:6-7)Read- Read 1 Corinthians 13 and Ephesians 4–5, focusing on love, forgiveness, and anger.Reflect- Ask: Where has conflict opened a pathway to growth in my relationship? Which destructive pattern do I contribute to most? Am I trying to fix before I listen?Respond- Short prayer: Father, give us humility to listen, courage to apologize, and grace to forgive. Teach us to handle conflict with love so we grow closer, not apart. Amen.Reveal- Take a practical “peace step”: pick one recent irritation, invite your partner to a brief, calm conversation, practice active listening (one speaks, one reflects), offer a sincere apology, and pray together or pray for each other afterward.Questions or feedback: arnie.cole@bttb.orgKeywords: conflict resolution, marriage counseling, Christian marriage, forgiveness, active listening, time out, communication skills, relationship growth, marital conflict, John Gottman, Arnie Cole, Kyle Helmink, Spiritually Fit TodaySubscribe to get each episode delivered to your Inbox daily at: https://bttb.org/subscribe2sft
 
 

The Slow Drift That Kills Intimacy - Spiritually Fit Today

Welcome to Spiritually Fit Today with Arnie Cole and guest marriage counselor Kyle Helmink. In this episode they unpack why many couples drift into living like roommates instead of soulmates, and how to reverse that cooling with intentionality: regular dates, couple meetings, listening well, setting new “norms” (especially after seasons like parenting or empty-nesting), and asking for outside help when needed. Practical counsel from a veteran marriage counselor on rebuilding intimacy, resisting temptation, and realigning your relationship around prayer and presence.4 R Action StepsRead — Read 1 Corinthians 13:6–7.Reflect — Where has your relationship lost momentum? What daily or weekly habits could you change to prioritize connection?Respond — Short prayer: Lord, help us slow down, listen without judgment, restore intimacy, and love with patience and truth. Amen.Reveal — Demonstrate this truth: unplug devices tonight, have a heart-to-heart, schedule a regular date and a weekly couple meeting, and invite a trusted mentor, pastor, or counselor to help.Contact: Arnie Cole — arnie.cole@bttb.orgKeywords: marriage counseling, Christian marriage, intimacy, reconnecting couples, relationship advice, 1 Corinthians 13, dating your spouse, marriage tips, Arnie Cole, Kyle HelminkSubscribe to get each episode delivered to your Inbox daily at: https://bttb.org/subscribe2sft

This One Habit Is Making Your Partner Feel Unseen - Spiritually Fit Today

Welcome to Spiritually Fit Today with Arnie Cole and guest Kyle Helmink. In this episode we examine how phones, to‑do lists, and countless small distractions quietly erode relationships. Using 1 Corinthians 13:6–7 ("Love rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."), Arnie and Kyle explore how brief "touch points," wise tech use, and intentional conversation can stop relational drift and restore presence.4 R Action StepsRead — Read 1 Corinthians 13:6–7.Reflect — Ask: What small, repetitive behaviors communicate my priorities to my partner? Where can I create simple daily touch points (a goodbye kiss, a midday text, a 15‑minute check‑in)?Respond — Short prayer: God, life pulls our attention in so many directions. Help us slow down, see the people we love, and give them our best attention. Teach us wisdom to set aside distractions and be present. Amen.Reveal — Practice tonight: eliminate one distraction for 30 minutes and be fully present with your partner. Then share the passage and the change you made; use that conversation to plan regular touch points.Contact: arnie.cole@bttb.orgKeywords: relationships, marriage, couples counseling, distractions, smartphones, presence, 1 Corinthians 13, spiritual growth, communication, boundariesSubscribe to get each episode delivered to your Inbox daily at: https://bttb.org/subscribe2sft

Why Romance isn't the Foundation...Love is - Spiritually Fit Today

Welcome to Spiritually Fit Today with Arnie Cole and guest Kyle Helmink. In this episode they talk about how love lasts beyond Valentine’s Day: the need to actively invest time and energy in relationships, lead with the “first response,” distinguish agape (willful, servant love) from eros (passionate love), use conflict as an opportunity for growth, and ground marriage in faith. Memory verse: 1 Corinthians 13:6–7 — "[Love] rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."4 R action plan- Read: Read 1 Corinthians 13 (focus on 13:6–7) tonight. - Reflect: Ask yourself: Where have I been coasting in my primary relationships? What would initiating love look like today? - Respond (prayer): Lord, teach me to love by choice—help me lead with grace, bear with patience, and act for the good of others. Strengthen relationships that feel weak and renew our commitment to grow together. Amen. - Reveal: Put the truth into practice—pray with your spouse or partner tonight, tell one person one thing you appreciate about them, or send a short note with 1 Corinthians 13:6–7 and a personal word of care.Questions or feedback: arnie.cole@bttb.orgKeywords: lasting love, Christian marriage, marriage counseling, relationship advice, agape love, conflict resolution, 1 Corinthians 13, faith and marriage, Arnie Cole, Kyle Helmink, Spiritually Fit TodaySubscribe to get each episode delivered to your Inbox daily at: https://bttb.org/subscribe2sft
 
 

Your Brain Can Come Back

Welcome to Spiritually Fit Today with Arnie Cole and guest Dr. Dale Michels. In this episode, they address children, grandchildren, and screen time through the lens of Romans 12:2 — “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Drawing from neuroscience, parenting experience, and spiritual formation, the conversation explores how screens shape young minds, why children’s brains are especially vulnerable to digital habits, and how quickly patterns can become ingrained. Practical guidance includes modeling healthy device use, setting and enforcing clear time limits (with timers), knowing what kids are watching, and coordinating boundaries between parents and grandparents. The episode also emphasizes filling the screen-time void with meaningful alternatives—games, Legos, outdoor play, reading, ice cream outings, or kite flying—and closes with a call to intentionally invest in one young person’s life, paired with a prayer for wisdom, protection, and renewal for the next generation.Action steps using the 4 R words:Read: Read Romans 12:2 together. For younger children, use a children’s Bible storybook and read a short passage daily.Reflect: Ask questions such as: What patterns are shaping our minds? How does screen content influence thoughts and behavior? What healthier rhythms can replace excessive screen time?Respond: Pray briefly with or for a child or teen. Example prayer from the program: “Lord, protect the minds and hearts of the next generation. Give wisdom to parents and grandparents. Help us model lives that follow you and renew our minds daily. In Jesus’ name, amen.”Reveal: Put truth into action by investing time—take a child or grandchild for ice cream, fly a kite, play a game, read a Bible story together, or teach a new skill—and share how God is shaping your own life through intentional choices.Need resources or to connect? Email Arnie Cole: arnie.cole@bttb.orgKeywords: screen time, grandchildren, Christian parenting, digital habits, Romans 12:2, renewing the mind, faith formation, children’s Bible, family discipleship, neuroscience and faith, Arnie Cole, Dale MichelsSubscribe to get each episode delivered to your Inbox daily at: https://bttb.org/subscribe2sft

How to Set Limits Without Starting a War

Welcome to Spiritually Fit Today with Arnie Cole and guest Dr. Dale Michels. In this episode they discuss children, grandchildren, and screen time through the lens of Romans 12:2 — "do not conform but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." Practical guidance includes modeling healthy device use, setting and enforcing consistent limits (with timers), knowing what kids are watching, filling the screen-time void with alternatives (games, Legos, outdoor play, ice cream or kite time), and partnering across generations so parents and grandparents hold the same boundaries. The program closes with a call to invest in one young person’s life and a prayer for protection and renewal of the next generation.Action steps using the 4 R words:- Read: Spend a few minutes daily reading Scripture together (Romans 12:2 is central; children’s Bible story reading is recommended for younger kids). - Reflect: Ask simple questions—What patterns of the world are we imitating? What content shapes our thoughts and feelings? Where can we replace screen habits with healthier rhythms? - Respond: Pray briefly with the child or teen. Example prayer from the program: “Lord, we lift up the next generation to you. Protect their minds and hearts. Give wisdom to parents and grandparents. Captivate their hearts and renew their minds. In Jesus’ name, amen.” - Reveal: Demonstrate the truth by investing time—take a child for ice cream, fly a kite, play a game, read a Bible story together, or teach a new skill—and share what God is doing in your life with someone else.Need resources or to connect? Email Arnie Cole: arnie.cole@bttb.orgKeywords: screen time, grandchildren, Christian parenting, digital parenting, Romans 12:2, renewing of the mind, faith formation, children's Bible, family discipleship, Dr. Michels, Arnie ColeSubscribe to get each episode delivered to your Inbox daily at: https://bttb.org/subscribe2sft

The Algorithm Is Not Random (And It’s Rewiring You)

Welcome to Spiritually Fit Today — with Arnie Cole and guest Dr. Dale Michels. In this episode they explore “brain rot”: how constant scrolling and algorithm-driven content can overstimulate the mind, leave us restless or lonely, and undermine relationships. Grounded in Romans 12:2, the conversation explains why recognizing the problem matters, why retraining habits (not a quick pill) is usually the answer, and practical steps to reduce screen-driven anxiety. Dr. Michels and Arnie share behavioral strategies (limit availability, use your phone for tasks then stop), the 10-question self-check (email arnie.cole@bttb.org to request it), and a simple spiritual reset practice called the one‑one‑one‑three exercise: one minute prayer, one minute of thanks for three blessings.4 R action plan- Read: Read Romans 12:2. Let the call to transformation shape how you use your time and attention. - Reflect: Ask yourself — When do I reach for my phone? How does scrolling affect my mood and relationships? What small habit could I change today? - Respond: Pray briefly and honestly. Example: “Lord, help me turn off the noise and renew my mind. Give me self-control and peace as I replace scrolling with what builds life. Amen.” - Reveal: Demonstrate the truth by inviting someone to try a short device-free practice with you (a shared 10-minute device-free walk, a one-week no-scroll challenge, or practicing the one-one-one-three exercise together) and share what changed.Want the self-check? Email arnie.cole@bttb.org for the 10-question survey to see where you stand and get practical next steps.Keywords: Spiritually Fit Today, Arnie Cole, Dale Michels, Romans 12:2, brain rot, social media addiction, screen time, digital detox, neuroplasticity, spiritual renewal, prayer exercise, one-one-one-three, Christian podcast, mental health, spiritual disciplinesSubscribe to get each episode delivered to your Inbox daily at: https://bttb.org/subscribe2sft

Dopamine, Addiction, and Your Phone

Welcome to Spiritually Fit Today with Arnie Cole and guest Dr. Dale Michels. Today’s message explores the “brain drain” of endless short videos, practical steps to reduce screen-driven instant gratification, and how Scripture guides us back to lasting focus and faithfulness.Memory verse: Romans 12:2 — “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing, and perfect will.”Put the 4 R’s into practice:- Read: Read Romans 12:2 slowly. Try reading in a physical Bible if you normally read on your phone.- Reflect: Ask: Where is my attention going? Which habits feed instant gratification? How might God be inviting me to slow down and listen?- Respond: Short prayer — Lord, this world is loud and pulls our attention every way. We admit we’ve allowed our minds to be scattered. Help us be still and know you are God. Restore our ability to hear your voice and renew our minds so we notice what matters most. In Jesus’ name, Amen.- Reveal: Demonstrate the truth by sharing the verse or your 5-minute distraction-free experience with someone, inviting a friend or family member to a device-free meal, or modeling putting your phone away during conversation.Focus drill: Find a quiet spot today and spend five minutes in distraction-free prayer or Bible reading. If you read the Bible on your phone, try dusting off a printed Bible for this practice.Contact: arnie.cole@bttb.orgKeywords: Spiritually Fit Today, Arnie Cole, Dale Michels, Romans 12:2, renew your mind, reduce screen time, digital discipleship, Bible reading, Christian podcast, prayer, focus, spiritual formation, meditation, distraction-free, device-free practiceSubscribe to get each episode delivered to your Inbox daily at: https://bttb.org/subscribe2sft
 
 

“Brain Rot” Is Real—Here’s How to Renew Your Mind

Welcome to Spiritually Fit Today with Arnie Cole and Dale Michels. In this episode we explore “brain rot” — the foggy, depleted attention that comes from excessive screen time — and how God calls us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. Dr. Michels explains the brain chemistry behind overstimulation, attention loss, and how habits rewire us, while Arnie offers practical spiritual steps to retrain attention and reconnect with Scripture and others.4R Action Steps- Read: Read the verse quoted in the episode (“Do not conform… be transformed by the renewing of your mind”) slowly and then read one short passage (a Psalm or a Gospel paragraph) aloud.- Reflect: Ask: Which digital habit is draining my attention? Spend 5 minutes journaling what changes would help you focus on God’s Word.- Respond (short prayer): Heavenly Father, forgive our hurried, distracted minds. Help us pause, unplug, and renew our minds by Your truth. Give us courage to replace frantic scrolling with time in Your Word. Amen.- Reveal: Share one insight from today with a friend or family member and invite them to join you in a small screen-free practice (5–60 minutes) this week.Connect: arnie.cole@bttb.orgKeywords: brain rot, screen time, renew your mind, renewing the mind, Christian podcast, Spiritually Fit Today, Arnie Cole, Dale Michels, faith and technology, digital discipleship, Bible study, spiritual formation, attention span, Christian mental healthSubscribe to get each episode delivered to your Inbox daily at: https://bttb.org/subscribe2sft

Burned Out? You’re Probably Skipping This Discipline

Subscribe to get each episode delivered to your Inbox daily at: https://bttb.org/subscribe2sftWelcome to Spiritually Fit Today with Arnie Cole and guest Megan Fletcher. In this episode they explore rest as a spiritual discipline—Sabbath rhythm, silence and solitude, physical and spiritual renewal, and practical ways to let God refresh your life instead of treating rest as something earned. Memory verse: 1 Thessalonians 5:16–18 — "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."Take action with the 4 R’s:- Read: Read 1 Thessalonians 5:16–18 and Genesis 2 to remember rest as part of God's design. - Reflect: Ask: What refreshes my soul? Where am I trying to earn rest instead of receiving it? How can I invite God into my next rest period? - Respond (short prayer): Lord, help me stop striving and receive your rest. Guide my rhythms so my body, mind, and heart are renewed and I live from your presence. Amen. - Reveal: Demonstrate this truth by scheduling an intentional half-day of rest with God (silence, Scripture, prayer), inviting a friend to practice a simple Sabbath with you, or sharing one insight from your prayer journal with someone this week.Share this episode with someone who needs rest. Contact Arnie Cole: arnie.cole@bttb.orgKeywords: Spiritually Fit Today, Arnie Cole, Megan Fletcher, rest, Sabbath, spiritual disciplines, Christian podcast, prayer, silence and solitude, sabbatical, Bible study, spiritual rest, discipleship, Christian living, 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18